Quilter's Last Will and Testament

The Quilter's Last Will And
Testament*

I,___________________________,being of sound mind (a statement which does not bear close examination) do hereby record my last will and
testament.

Knowing that __________________________________, my _________________ (husband, sister, or friend) hasn't the least understanding or
appreciation for, or for that matter, knowledge of my extensive fabric
collection, which collection is suitably deposited in sundry places for
safekeeping.

Knowing also that ___________________________ has already notified the local dumpster to pick up and dispose of the before mentioned
collection "willy-nilly" (the thought of which causes me a most severe case of
hives).

Therefore, I do will this collection and all other collections related to it, to my dear friend and fellow fabric preservationist,
_________________________.

It is my wish that she/he, upon hearing of my death and obtaining clear proof that I did not manage, although goodness knows I
tried, to take it with me, would come to my home post haste, before the
dumpster, and search out my collection which is similarly stored at her own
abode.

That she should rescue said collection and stack it in my quilting studio, along with my sewing machines, frames, old buttons, lace,
patterns, quilts, dolls and works in progress.

After she/he has done this, she/he should purchase refreshments for my friends not yet departed, which
friends are also her/his friends, and every last one shall be in that room and
they shall hold a wake and say lovely and kind things about me until they run
out and then they shall divide amongst themselves, by lot, my wonderful
collection.

I shall be hovering over that very spot until this is done. _______________________ shall then quit this spot and close the door, leaving
trivialities to those who do not understand. This is my wish on the matter.


Signed: ____________________ Date: ___________

Notarized: __________________ Date: ___________

*This is not a legal document

Written By Elinor Peace Baily,
Published in "The Cloth Doll"
Spring/Summer 1990